Today on the “Conservative Butthurt Hour”: Turns out smug arrogance won’t make coffee

In what has to be the stupidest political protest this week (we’d say “of 2017,” but there’s still a month and a half for much more stupid), a whole bunch of Sean Hannity fans are showing their support for the smartest man on TV by smashing up their Keurig coffeemakers after the company announced it would pull its ads from Fox’s Hannity Funtimes Shouty Hour. The company had been pressured by godless liberals to drop Hannity after his bizarre defense of Roy Moore, who is only an ACCUSED child molester. You’d better bet that videos like the one above, of a guy smashing a single-cup coffee machine he already paid for, will bring the company to its knees as surely as Starbucks was brought down by all the morons buying coffee and demanding the barista write “Merry Christmas” or “Donald Trump” on the cup.

There’s childish. There’s stupid. Then there’s whatever these brave Conservative patriots are doing to their coffee makers. Evidently SERIOUSLY offended that Keurig has pulled its ads from Sean Hannity’s nightly festival of lies and propaganda, REAL Americans are destroying their Keurigs in protest. Yeah, that’ll show ’em how REAL patriots handle America-hating Liberal pussies.

Man, I can hardly wait to see what happens when Lexus, BMW, and Mercedes Benz pull their ads….

‘Course, I would NEVER deny anyone their right to protest as they see fit. Despite what they may be thinking (IF they’re thinking), this is still a free country and the 1st Amendment still means something.

To these right-thinking Conservatives, it means they’re not going to have their morning coffee.

Hmm…perhaps they didn’t think through the possible consequences- that the only people they’re hurting are themselves? After all, Keurig got their money when these patriots bought their product in the first place. So who are they hurting? Certainly not Keurig…but if they’d bother to think their brilliant plan through they might have realized that.

Yep, few things are more thoroughly American (and more entertaining) than impotent, misdirected Conservative outrage. Patriotism at its finest. Or not.

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