“Jesus sends the message home”: I don’t know what this is…but it isn’t Christianity

Pastor Kevin Swanson, who previously publicly advocated for “the death penalty for homosexuals,” has linked Hurricane Harvey to LGBTQ rights. Swanson, who is a pastor at the Reformation Church of Elizabeth, Colorado, said on his radio show “Generations with Kevin Swanson” on Friday that the deadly storm that devastated Houston, Texas is God’s judgment of the city, and other cities like it, that have embraced “sexual perversion” and have not repented for it. “Jesus sends the message home, unless Americans repent, unless Houston repents, unless New Orleans repents, they will all likewise perish,” Swanson said. “That is the message that the Lord Jesus Christ is sending home right now to America.”

I could begin by underlining the undeniable truth that Kevin Swanson is less Christian than asshole, but why belabor the obvious? Swanson is to Christianity what the Taliban is to Islam; he doesn’t have a compassionate bone in his body. Didn’t Jesus (yeah, the one I don’t believe in) teach- among other positive things- compassion? Just asking for a friend.

If I still lived in Houston and encountered Swanson on the street, it would be a challenge to repress an intense desire to beat him senseless. Then again, he’s not worth the prison time I’d do for what would undoubtedly feel pretty damned good. Swanson is a monster, a “Christian” willing to use the suffering of others to push his heartless and intolerant agenda.

Swanson then listed examples of why Houston would receive such judgment and why it should repent. He mentioned Annise Parker, the city’s former and openly gay mayor, who Swanson describes as a “very, very aggressively pro-homosexual mayor.” He also cited how Texas state legislature failed to pass a bathroom bill “that would have prevented cross-dressing men from using the women’s restrooms” because “they wanted to encourage the abomination of men attempting to dress like women and women attempting to dress like men.”

More than anything, I feel sorry for Swanson. It’s got to be difficult carrying around so much hatred and so little compassion…not to mention an apparently complete absence of self-awareness.

People throughout southeast Texas are suffering. Many good, decent, benevolent, and compassionate people are doing what they can to help (Houston Texans DE J.J. Watt has raised at least $15 million so far). Pastor Swanson? He’s railing against the LGBTQ community and holding them primarily responsible for the damage wrought by Hurricane Harvey.

This is what the American Taliban does. They’re as much about the Gospel of Jesus Christ as Osama bin-Laden was about peaceful conflict resolution. It’s not about love, tolerance, and acceptance- things Jesus actually preached; it’s about power, control, and subjugating others to a narrow, unchristian belief system.

“I think that the entire state of Texas and the entire United States of America needs to take note of this,” Swanson warned. “And realize that there is a God in heaven, He brings His judgments and He calls nations to repentance, as He is doing right now.”

Swanson also noted that the remnants of Hurricane Harvey are now heading towards New Orleans, as the city prepares for its annual LGBTQ festival “Southern Decadence” this weekend. “Timing seems to be perfect,” Swanson said. He then argued that God is giving the city a “head’s up” before it hosts “the largest sexual perversion event in the country.”

I’m astonished that the LGBTQ community could be invested with such awesome power and influence that they’d be able to adversely impact weather patterns. If they can do that, I can’t help but wonder what else they might be capable of. Time travel? Curing cancer? Solving world hunger? Ensuring the Green Bay Packer never again win a Super Bowl…or even make the playoffs?

Think about it; if gays, lesbians, and their fellow travelers are so powerful, why limit themselves to sending hurricanes to places where they’ll do the most damage and cause the most suffering? Why not make sure Republicans never win another election? Why not ensure government creates a single-payer health care system? Why not get Colin Kaepernick a job as a starting NFL quarterback? I mean, have you SEEN some of the guys starting under center for some NFL teams?

Josh McCown? DeShone Kizer? Tom Savage? Brian Hoyer? Really?? Ah, but I digress.

Behold the awesome power of Da Gayz ©….

No reasonable person would believe Swanson to be a man of God. How could someone claiming the imprimatur of the Almighty be so vehemently anti-LGBTQ? What is he afraid of? Could it be that he’s so deeply repressed his own sexual urges that he’s acting out of self-loathing? Is he really afraid of…himself??

It’s not a stretch to believe that one detests what they most fear in themselves. Is Kevin Swanson a homosexual so deeply closeted he can’t admit it to himself? Should his virulent homophobia and unChristian hatred directed at the LGBTQ community be taken as proof of his repressed urges?

Who knows? Or cares? Only Swanson knows…and he’s not telling anyone- himself included.

Remember, kids; Jesus loves you…as long as you only schtupp the opposite sex, and only in the missionary position and strictly for purposes of procreation.

Republican Jesus tells us so.

1 thought on ““Jesus sends the message home”: I don’t know what this is…but it isn’t Christianity

  1. Racer X

    “…he’s not worth the prison time I’d do for what would undoubtedly feel pretty damned good”, and here I was thinking I was the only one who had thoughts like these. I worry about the time where I decide “Nah – it IS worth it”. So many of these a-holes deserve it.

    Let’s just say Swanson better hope there isn’t a God because I think she’d be pretty pissed off at him for dissin’ her son this way.


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