No rules, just right: Never underestimate the evil power of a blooming onion

Who doesn’t love going to Outback Steakhouse? Good food, fun times, satanic rituals… wait, what? A recent deep dive by Twitter user @eatmyaesthetics into the restaurant chain’s locations had the internet raising some eyebrows. The user’s tweet has been retweeted more than 100,000 times and has started an intense investigation into the real intentions of the popular steakhouse. The layout of Outback’s locations in several cities bear an eerie resemblance to a pentagram, a symbol used within Wiccan practice and in ancient cultures, but is also often associated with the practice of Satanism in the U.S.
So of course, the Twitter community came together to try to figure out just what could Outback Steakhouse be planning?

I suppose this should be filed under “How to know when you have WAY too much time on your hands.” If the biggest threat to America’s moral fiber you can dig up involves Outback Steakhouse and a pentagram….

Personally, I’d be far more worried about that blooming onion, knowhutimean?

This being America, the country which can’t seem to pass up a perfectly good conspiracy theory (it’s given Alex Jones a lucrative career and a reason for living, after all), Twitter is on the case.

Of course, the Twitterati’s idea of investigation leans heavily on poorly supported theories, thinly sourced innuendo, and rapier wit. This is true pretty much across the board, whether the topic at hand is satanic steakhouse chains, Justin Bieber, or SCROTUS’ alleged “pee tape.” It may be entertaining, but empirical it ain’t. The scientific theory often goes out the window, because…well, it’s Twitter.

WTF IS GOING ON HERE???

In the end, Outback got a ton of free publicity and Twitter’s amateur conspiracy theorists got to take their overheated imagination out for a few laps.

Everyone goes away happy, right??

Hail Satan….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*